In a loop

As a stay at home mum, I love my good days! It makes me a happy mum and a happier person and life is good!
However, for about a week (and still now), it seems I’ve been stuck in a never ending loophole of one crap after another. I won’t bother naming every issue because it’ll probably make me feel worse, but what I’ve realised it the affect it has on Aaliyah.

As a result of all the unfortunate events that take place, I am soo snappy and upset and sometimes teary. Sometimes towards Aaliyah because she’s always there and whenever she doesn’t listen to me, it feels like a stab to the chest – not kidding. Clearly I’m being overemotional and I’m trying to calm myself down, so I distract myself with YouTube diy tutorials or cleaning.
I spoke to my sister the other night and she pointed out that I’m overworking myself. Maybe she’s right.

My baby needs all my attention, I get it, but with the whole sudden move I feel like everything has been a rush so I’m trying to feel at home as much as a can and as fast as I can to feel comfortable. I go to sleep thinking “I miss home, I want to go home”. It’s sad, but I’m trying to move on. Leaving your own life is hard especially if you’ve built your way up and finally gotten what you want before it’s all taken away. I hope Aaliyah is ok with the transition and her new home, I’m
Trying to make her comfortable here like she was at home. Her room is all setup, but she doesn’t know where mum and dad’s room is just yet. And I still feel she’s waiting to go home.
Maybe it’ll heal with time.

My Baby List

Baby list

Heres in celebration of our good friends wonderful news…. they’re expecting their first baby in only a few months!

So here s a list I wish someone had put up for me while I was carrying… would’ve helped with the overspending (although we didn’t overspend too much luckily.)

NB

  • Onesies
  • Singlets
  • Beanies
  • Mittens and Socks
  • Muslins
  • Blanket
  • Rocker/Bouncer
  • Bassinet ($$)
  • Cot ($$-$)
  • Burp cloths (we never used ours because A rarely threw up)
  • Hat (Summer baby? out and about? Definitely will need this)

BABY CHANGE

  • Nappies ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ etc lol)
  • Wet-wipes ($$$$ etc)
  • Nappy Bin ($ – it does come in handy if you want to contain all that “wonderful” smell)
  • Baby powder
  • Sudo cream (a must)
  • Bepanthem (a must – worked wonders for those really bad rashes)
  • Baby massage oil (I still massage Aaliyah occasionally to this day)
  • Hair brush 
  • Change Mat
  • Earbuds/cotton 

BATH

  • Towel
  • Face towel
  • Bath tub or somewhere to wash baby
  • Change table ($$-$ – we had one and sold it to a friend. It only got in our way and was more comfortable changing baby on the bed or floor)
  • Shampoo/body wash
  • Bathing slip mat/bed **

TRAVEL

  • Nappy Bag ($-$$ – Might want to invest in a good one that’ll last a long time and where you can take everywhere with you, including those romantic nights out!)
  • Nappy Plastic bags (Coles or supermarket)
  • Car seat (can’t leave the hospital without one!!!)
  • Carrier ($-$)
  • Window shade
  • Pram ($$$)

MUM

  • Bras ($$)
  • Nickers (stretchy comfy ones!)
  • Comfy clothes (ones that give easy access to your milk for feeding and expressing)
  • Nipple cream
  • Breast pads
  • Breast pump (your new best friend for a while lol)
  • Milk storage containers
  • Breast Feeding pillow (did wonders for me as it made breastfeeding soo much more easy and comfortable)
  • Tummy wrap (apparently helps with your contractions after giving birth and also pulls your tummy back into shape much quicker) **
  • Maternity pads (you’ll be needing them for at-least a week or two after giving birth)

MISC

  • Night lamp (so you don’t wake the hubby while trying to feed or change – unless you want him to lol)
  • Comfy chair/Rocking chair ** ($$$ - invest in a good comfy one)
  • Baby monitor (you’ll be wanting to check up on baby every second… this will help calm your nerves down lol)

notes:

** = we didn’t get or need/want

$$$ most costly

And there you have it :) Hope this helps!!!

New place

It’s been 5days since we’ve moved out of our tiny 2 bedroom apartment. No more family market mornings, no more early morning walks, no more walks to the corner shops or visits to the lovely parks. But most important of all, no more proper family time together. I’m gonna miss it.

Anyway, a new place, a new life, a new beginning to something different.

My cousins came and helped us move – it only took them 4hrs! The next 2 days were brutal, had to clean the old house twice!!! Was tiring especially with a child to look after and Nav had work.

It’s going to take a few weeks for me to settle in. This has happened way too fast for me.

Here’s a few snaps of the move and Aaliyah recently….

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It’s ok to be annoyed

You know some days when things just don’t go as planned? That’s been my life everyday for the last 19months and 2weeks. Surprise surprise.

Aaliyah has been difficult to put to bed at night for the last two months. Tonight she was asleep at 11pm! And if she went down early, she’d be up again in just a short few hours. sigh Its exhausting and it drains the hell out of me.
So when I want an early sleep, do I get one? Nope! Not a chance. I’m the type of person who gets scared in the dark when I’m alone, so I hate going to bed without my husband. But lately (for the last year or so) he stays up late watching tv, playing Xbox etc. Should I be worried that he doesn’t to come to bed at the same as me? Erm, not really. I guess he has the freedom to stay up and do whatever he wants. But I get scared at night :( Pretty sure He knows and has either forgotten or just doesn’t care. Pretty sure I’m annoyed and he can sleep on his side of the bed tonight… Like most nights. Haha I’m annoyed, so what?! I’m a mum I’m allowed to :)

An update on Miss A

So now my little angel is about 19months – that’s 1year 6months and 2weeks to be exact. Wow, did I just say that? How time has seriously flown by and I have no idea how we got here to be honest.

Here are some things she loves to do: sing (loves twinkle little star and ABC), hum songs/music, dance, draw, giving hi 5s, hugging, talking, playing at the park (loves the swing especially), drawing, puzzles, painting, talking on the phone, randomly calls people from my phone

In the last couple weeks we’ve noticed a huge improvement in her vocabulary and to be honest I think it’s because I talk to her a lot like how I would to any adult, also a bit of tv and music. Here are words she can or almost say properly: daddy, mummy, papa, mama, nanna, sky, plane, moon, hot, please, thanks, I love you, bye, hi, how are you, where are you, what, what’s that, that, no mama/daddy, more, scissors, peach, apple, honey, shoe shoe, eyes, nose, mouth, knee, toes, bed, teddy, gone, oh no, num num, uncle, Aunty, door, hug me.

She has 4teeth coming out all at once but luckily she’s not in any pain. Her sleeping routine is some days good and some days bad. However she’s been sleeping well for her day nap: at least 1.5hrs sleep to 2.5hrs sleep. A few days ago she slept for 3.15hrs which was awesome. She’s been sleeping in a bed now for about a month and though at first I regret it because she kept climbing out at night to coming to our room, I secretly love it at the same time – even if it means lack of sleep. I know that 10years from now I will look back at this time and think that it was one of the best moments we had.

She hasn’t started daycare yet but will soon in October. I’m contemplating on whether or not she really needs to go but well see what happens.

Terrible 2s? Not sure if we’ve reached it yet because she does misbehave sometimes. It’s not that bad an it doesn’t last long. We’ve found that we can distract her with singing or a hug or something she likes. It does upset me though when she misbehaves, but lucky I have a comforting husband who always reminds me that it’s really ok and it’s not the end of the world. She’s just a baby and it’s just a phase.

We love her soo much regardless and love each day when she learns something new! Can’t believe she’s almost 2!!!!

Xx

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My little Love

It’s true what they say, “they grow soo quick”. Aaliyah is days away from 19months old and in the last few weeks we have noticed a huge improvement in her speech, mobility, memory and independence.
Her vocabulary and speech have improved immaculately and she loves to sing songs. She is however shy around new people who pay her attention and finds new environments a bit too overwhelming. She has 4new teeth sprouting out at the same time which is probably the reason for her waking up every single night for the last two months? It’s exhausting and frustrating and although we love to have her sleep with us, I don’t like having to wakeup every night. It probably doesn’t help that she now sleeps in a proper bed so she wakes up and comes into our room to sleep. Secretly loving it!

I try not to dwell on the unpleasant thoughts of the oncoming ‘terrible 2s’. She has her off days which means I have my off days too. It’s hard to not get upset when she doesn’t listen to me or refuses to do as I ask. She has even learnt to hit, scratch and scream. Yes, I guess it’s normal and it’s just a phase that our babies will go through and its up to us to educate them and show them whats right and wrong. If they don’t listen, keep trying the next day and the next until they do. We can only do soo much to teach them, and it may even take ages to see any improvements, but they will eventually get there.

Looking back at how far Aaliyah has come, I am soo proud of how much she has learnt and I look forward to how much she will learn and hopefully use it to make this world a better place. She always makes me a proud mum…. even though she can be a very cheeky monkey at times :) Meh, we have our good days and our bad days. Such is life!

What I love about this girl right now is her smile, her warm tight hugs and how she is learning to communicate much better.

I can’t believe she is almost 2years old!!

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$30 a bargain

Here’s an updated photo of our shabby chick bookshelf. Repainted and put into Aaliyah’s nursery to store and display her little things. I think her room feels almost complete (it only took over a year to get it this way). It’s more homey and warm and pleasant to be in now…. Finally. Thank you gumtree. It’s only the 2nd thing I’ve bought off you but those things have made a big difference to our lives.

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Here’s a list of a few things I thought needed to go up on the shelf: ofcourse a picture of her when she was only a couple days old, her first music box, a soft owl from a friend at work, her light-up teddy lamp, soft toy animals she use to love as a baby, her shoes so she can learn to put them on herself, her books, a box of nappies and wipes, a box of necessities – powder, creams, medicines, brush – her first baby’s prayer book!

I’m pretty happy with the outcome although I didn’t do well with the painting.
Can’t wait til my next bargain!

My little helper

A letter to my ‘6days of working’ husband, who misses out on the good days that I spend with our 1 and a half year old daughter.

Dearest dearest dear :)
We both know the story of what happened yesterday afternoon. And as you could tell, I was somewhat overwhelmed with what we shall refer to as a-mothers-pride-and-joy (ampaj – for short). Let’s remember what happened for the sake of it, coz I don’t ever want to forget it:

Yesterday afternoon as I started to vacuum, Aaliyah came running with such excitement to help. Ofcourse I was a bit annoyed because I wanted to get my chores done for the day as quick as possible, but how could I stay annoyed as she finds that pushing and pulling the vacuum is soo hilarious. I’d really like to know where the fun is in that. So we s-l-o-w-l-y vacuum the living room before moving in to her room, and as we are vacuuming (by we, I mean ME as your daughter is laughing at only God knows what), she suddenly stops and realises that her shoe was in the way of the vacuum. To my surprise, and I did not expect this from her at all (unless I asked her to), she says “oh no” (does her lip pout) and goes to pick up her shoe and puts it back onto her shoe shelf and comes right back to continue vacuuming. What just happened?! I didn’t want to show her too much of ampaj but acknowledged her good actions and continued to vacuum (with a massive smile and maybe I had to hold back a tear or two). I thought, that was probably a fluke and it won’t happen again for a while. As we vacuum another section, there were teddies and books and shoes in the way, I thought, there’s no way she’d go and move them. But then, she realises they are in the way, so she stops and rushes to them, picks each one up and puts them back nicely into each of their designated compartments; picked up each teddy and gently sat them on her shelf (she made sure they were sitting up right), picked up her books and lay them gently on her bookshelf, picked up her shoes and stacked them with the rest of her shoes, and came back to vacuum. I gave her the biggest hug and kiss. Shortly after we vacuumed I was too happy to continue with my chores, I gave her some colouring pencils and paper which made her soo happy. She turns to me in the middle of colouring to give me a tiny smile before she continued to colour. It was then I HAD to send you a text of what just happened, what just made me soo happy that day, regardless of the rough morning I had with her. I didn’t tell you so you’d think her actions were soo cute, but more importantly, when you have to leave for work everyday, I wanted you to know that i am teaching her well. Well enough that one day, she won’t be a lazy mother or a lazy wife. She will be beautiful on the inside and out. Be helpful and happy and sweet. But will also be firm in her beliefs and principles and will always stand her ground. I want you to know that everything you have done in your life (whether bad or good) lead up to this moment. This is what your life is about, this is your greatest achievement, your happy family.
Now get back to work ;)

We love you always

Your wifey

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Feeling the cold

I love Wednesdays because It’s my husbands only day off work every week.
So I look forward to the morning sleep-ins on Wednesdays, “said not I ever!” I still have to get up and make breakfast for Aaliyah and start my day. But at least we get to spend it as a complete family.

Yesterday we planned to go for a walk up to the supa centa. So assuming it was cold outside, we dressed up in beanies and scarfs and started our walk, but within minutes, we took it all off as it was such a beautiful sunny (warm) day hahaha. Didn’t we feel silly.

On our way there however my throat felt a bit sore and by the time we came home, I was feeling a bit shivery and cold and my throat was more sore. As the night progressed it became worse and I found myself blowing my nose throughout the night. I swear I was getting tonsillitis (maybe), but apparently it seems like a cold. which ofcourse sucks especially with a baby to care for.
Nellie and Danny paid us a short visit with some homemade muesli, hazelnut and blueberry muffins. They tasted healthy and delicious. That’s me right now!!

Early this morning, Aaliyah woke up at 3am and I thought lying with her for a bit would put her back to sleep, but an hour and half later, she was still moving around half awake. So feeling extremely tired and sore with a cold, I just took her into our bed and snoozed. It was hard for me to wake as I had a headache and my body was just not ready to work. Nav helps me out of bed and into the living room where I find Aaliyah stuffing her face with half of Nellies muffins and a Nutella and peanut butter bread. I don’t have time to be sick, I thought to myself. When Nav goes to work, I’ll be here alone and will still have to continue with my day. So I got up, fed myself quickly before Aaliyah finished and life goes on ;)

Don’t think I’ll be doing much today, I may try and finish off painting Aaliyah’s new bookshelf I bought off gumtree for $30!!!! But I also have lots of sewing to do for Babycoo, so it might be a slow busy day for me :)

Enjoy your day!

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Food for thought

A perspective on the roles of parents

Last nights conversation with friends struck a chord deep within us all. It all started when, after having a beautiful meal prepared by Wasfieh (Moroccan vegetarian dinner – couscous with pumpkin and kale stew), the ladies stayed inside to make delicious herbal tea (by  CreaTea) and bake some dark chocolate fondants drizzled with vanilla bean cream. During the course of this, while the boys happily sat outside by the heater enjoying their argileh and “manly” conversations, Nellie, with a light cheeky smirk on her face, mentions that it would be nice if one night the men can cook us dinner while we sit and relax for a change. “We should tell them” she says smilingly.

So, way after we had dug into our fondants – which deliciously melted in our mouths and vanished off our plates (I’m annoyed I didn’t get a picture of it, maybe it’s my chance to get Wasfieh to make a few more? Hehe) the girls decide to bring up the idea. I don’t know how, but I can understand why then, the conversation turned into this debatable argument about the roles of a stay-at-home mother vs a working father.
We live in an era where both parents aren’t always available to the child and growing up with one parent is a common experience, when one stays home the other is forced to work, hence, the bond between the mother and child vs the father and child is an important consideration. Although a child is affected differently between the bond with a mother to that of the father, they both have unique benefits. The more secure the bond between a mother and child, the more safe and confident the child will feel, it will allow them to cope more easily with change, to have better social skills with people and demonstrate a better understanding of other children’s emotions. Children who are securely bonded to their mothers are also most likely to be self-starters and require less help from their teachers. Fathers on the other hand, feel the responsibility to nurture with financial support (even though there are some mothers in the world who contribute financially), child care and limit-setting (rules/boundaries). This financial support, is crucial to prevent poverty and provide [community] resources for the child to become academically and socially successful, to grow their talents and expand their opportunities. The way fathers provide care and communicate feelings helps kids feel more satisfaction in life, and proper limit-settings contributes to academic achievements, less problems with delinquency and more social competence. 

In saying all this, I think that both parents play a crucial role in the upbringing of their children. That whatever great amount, or lack of nurturing, will determine the outcome of the child. In terms of who does more work of the two however, depends on the individuals and how they live really. You can’t say that a mother who barely does anything at home for the child while the partner slaves away at work for hours is the same as a mother who does everything for the child at home while the husband sits at an office from 9am-5pm with an hour and a half break. However, a mothers job requires them to do all or most of the following every single day, lets not forget the father, some of these only apply when they’re present with the child and not at work ie: before and after work, on weekends or public holidays: feeding about 5 times a day (including snacks), check nappies, change nappies, bathe baby, play games with baby, nap times, make bottles/breast feed, down time, hugs and kisses, reading books, house maintenance, prepare dinner, grocery shopping, struggles to have a shower at times and get out of pjs, continuously cleaning after babys mess, quietly clean and do some laundry while baby naps, planning ahead with meals, organising playdates with friends, packing a meal and change for leaving the house then coming back and unpacking like you’ve just come back from an overseas trip. All of this starts at the crack of dawn and does NOT end until you’ve closed your eyes and finally slipped off into a deep sleep. In terms of who’s job is most important, I believe both roles are important, but life starts with the mother who is the prime educator of the child and it begins at her very core, before a child breathes its first air, before it bonds with any soul or being, it begins closer to a mothers heart than anyone else can ever reach – it starts in the womb.

 

DO NOT MISINTERPRET MY MANY POINTS BASED ON THE AMOUNT OF WORDS I USED IN SUPPORT OF THE ROLE OF A STAY AT HOME MOTHER – I AM ONE AFTER ALL. I APPRECIATE AND VALUE THE ROLE OF HARD WORKING FATHERS WHO SACRIFICE BEING AWAY FROM THEIR LOVED ONES TO SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY.

 

:)

 

- Happy Mothers Day

 

 

 

 

Links:

http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/motherchild-bonding-vs-fatherchild-bonding-16813.html

http://www.facebook.com/creaTea